15 Apr 2009

melancholys went away from me equably

Last night, I received a call from Agnes which made me know the truth, I had already suspected this answer for a long time, now I recognize what you thinking about us eventually. Now I have something to tell you equally.

Maybe I am a grungy leader this academic year, but I manage to keep going to be a leader, somehow, this is a exhausting work, didn't you know that, I believed you may giving hepl in hard time, actually you not only paid no attention but also left us away, I didn't want to misunderstand you behavior, but whene letdown appeared again and again I don't know how to make circumstances change.

Everytime problems were head-on, I have an impulse to change my personality, to be a tender girl, in order to decrease conflict, why didn't you changed your irresponsible attitude, on the contrary you thougt we were disgusted, you have known we were puny distinctly since you came here, so what, you still request us to be the pattern which you want, when you found we are not fond of your pattern and we did not comply with you, what did you do? abandoning and injuring.

All the promise you gave me, you didn't comply practically, I trust in you so much, but you were still parsimonious to give me feedback, I even wrangled over your unconcern with teacher, teacher mistrust me and he thought I push you out on purpose at one time. I didn't mean that, I just wanted to express my indignation. If I ever hurt you by accident, I said sorry to you, I want to make it clear that I have no prejudice against you.

I turned down to be a leader one more time, cause the moment I conscious of that I couldn't get approbation from you anymore, how trying I was, going through this academic year I am really tired, but I still remind myself that we encompass the beautiful memory ever, let melancholys dispersed by wind.

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